Give Yourself Permission

I’ve been thinking about what happens when we let ourselves explore the things we love. The things we feel drawn to, fascinated by, and that keep showing up in our lives. Knocking on our door, asking us to pay them some attention. Four months ago I was terrified to post about how much I love astrology. That seems so weird to me now. I mean I get it, I know why it was hard for me. But it’s amazing how fear works, and how small it can keep us.  You have to let your love and sense of wonder win over your fears.

It’s only been a few months since I started writing about and delving into work as an astrologer, and my world already feels so much bigger. And I feel like I’m engaging with it more and more as my authentic self. I’ve met so many new people who are into and open to the same things I am. It’s felt like actual magic to me to start meeting more like-minded people. 

I’ve done close to twenty readings so far and each of them has been so different. They always spark deep and meaningful conversation, which is my favorite. Doing this work really lights me up.

I’m so glad that I stopped letting my perfectionism and fear stop me when it comes to this passion of mine. I was paralyzed because I wanted to do everything perfect from the start. I’ve learned to be ok with a temporary wordpress site (which is changing soon), for example, and with temporary everything/anything that’s not my ideal vision. It doesn’t have to be that yet. The type of ideals I hold for myself cannot happen overnight, and I wouldn’t really want them to anyway. I’m growing nice and slow, trying to honor my own pace and timing. 

I have no idea what’s ahead. I know astrology isn’t the only thing I want to do. I’m interested in so many things. But I’m so glad I gave myself the permission to just explore this one thing more. And to start taking action, little tiny baby steps every day. And it makes me more excited, and less fraidy, to explore the other things that speak to me. With no attachment to any particular outcome. Like a kid. Playing just to play.

My Lil Inner Child

This little one still lives in me.

She’s magical. And spunky.

Her favorite color has always been purple.

She wants to be free. Play. Explore. Create.

She gets scared. Insecure.

She cowers from judgment, shame, and comparison.

Encouragement, compassion and softness open her to bloom.

She loves to just be. 

When I feel insecure or inferior or behind or not enough, I remember her. And who I really am. Sometimes it takes me a bit, but when I remember, a wave of compassion and forgiveness falls over me. I can relax. The inner child in me doesn’t need me to be hard on myself. We’ve had enough of that life. It never works. She needs empathy, understanding and connection.

She needs me to not leave her. To tend to her feelings. Not run from them and avoid them. Not abandon her and numb out. 

She needs my unconditional love and to never recreate this bowl cut.

Eclipse Season Is Coming

This July is eclipse season, and we’re already feeling the build-up to it now. Everyone can feel eclipse energy, especially during the peak of it. It’s like an extraordinarily strong new or full moon. Heightened emotions, more intense energy, abrupt changes, which manifest differently according to which houses the eclipses land in in your individual chart. When an eclipse touches planets or the angles in your chart (especially conjuncting or squaring them), you REALLY feel it. And not just during the weeks of the eclipse energy, but even a few months leading up to it. And then the lessons, transformations and shifts continue to unfold over the next 6 months after the actual eclipse.

On July 2nd we have a solar eclipse in Cancer, at ten degrees. Two weeks later, July 16th, the lunar eclipse occurs at twenty-four degrees Capricorn. So if you have planets or angles in Cancer and Capricorn, you may be getting “eclipsed”. Depends on the degrees of your planets. If they’re within 4-5 degrees of the eclipse, you’ll be feeling it. Also, if you have planets, angles, or your nodes in Aries and Libra, this summer’s eclipses could be squaring them (again, depending on their exact degrees). If your planets or angles aren’t touched by this summer’s eclipses, you won’t feel it as much.

Getting eclipsed can mean a lot of different things. Your life can take on a whole new trajectory. You could move somewhere new, meet someone important, get married, go through a break up, get a new job, lose a job, be involved in some sort of accident. It can often mean big transitions or events. And sometimes an eclipse is felt more internally. You might feel a big shift in the way you deal with things, or take on a new lifestyle or philosophy. Maybe you experience a breakdown or a period of depression, that eventually leads to you letting go of something you’ve been carrying. No matter how the eclipse hits, no matter if it’s more external or internal (or both), it’s here to serve you. It’s not happening TO you, it’s happening FOR you. That’s why eclipses tend to speed up changes that need to happen in your life, or sort of ‘force’ you out of situations that are no longer serving you. If you’ve been putting something off, avoiding addressing a particular relationship, or ignoring your own emotional needs, an eclipse will put you back on track. And it can feel very unpleasant or rough, like change often does. But when you look back, you’ll often be glad it happened.

The pair of July eclipses are hitting my Ascendant-Descendant angle, my Venus, my Mercury, and my Jupiter. Mainly affecting my 1st, 7th, 5th and 11th houses and the areas of life that those houses pertain to. I won’t detail all of that in this post, BUT suffice it to say I’m getting eclipsed this year. I can’t see into my future or anyone else’s, so I have no idea what specific changes will happen. I just know they’re coming. I’ve already been feeling and experiencing eclipse manifestations since April. Many of you may have as well.

I have to keep reminding myself, don’t trip out about the future. Don’t try to force any particular outcomes. Don’t grip the reins so tightly that you can’t enjoy the ride. Relax, do what you need to do to feel grounded and centered. Take care of your energy and your mental health. Don’t feed your fear or worry. And as cliché and repetitive as it might sound, remain present. In the present I can slow down, look around and notice/feel how rich and blessed my life already is. In that space I can let go of control and allow whatever changes are in store. I can trust that I’m being guided and supported.

Relationships As Mirrors and Teachers

When I was with a partner who I felt was emotionally unavailable, I tried to get him to talk about his feelings and fixated on the lack of depth in our relationship. Meanwhile I was constantly ignoring my own emotions, feelings and needs. I avoided going deeper with myself. I saw a therapist and pretty much lied to her about my real fears and problems. I omitted so many things, like how much I was drinking, and how I really spent my time. I avoided topics that I knew would make me feel very vulnerable, like talking about my family, my shame, and the more difficult things in my past. I didn’t want to cry in front of her. I was SO emotionally unavailable. But at the time, I only saw the emotional avoidance in my partner.

My next relationship was much more open. I had done some growing when it came to being vulnerable. It felt like we could talk to each other about anything and everything. So much depth and sharing. So that wasn’t what I focused on. This time, it was numbing. I fixated on the ways he numbed out. Drinking too much, being on his phone too much, etc. And guess who was also doing a ton of numbing out all the time? That would be me. I was also drinking too much, on my phone so much, and watching hours of reality TV in my free time. So much escaping.

My relationships have so perfectly mirrored the things that I wanted/needed to improve in myself. I see it in the other person first. I focus on what I think THEY need to do and what THEY aren’t doing right. I try to instill change in the other person, thinking I’m helping them them. When the ONLY person I can change is me. I also completely lose myself in relationships by doing that shit. I get consumed and blinded. It’s a trip.

It’s similar with other relationships. With friends, family members, even strangers. I notice what I’m critical about in others, what I judge, what makes me close off around them. And most of the time, when I look inward I can see where it’s coming from in me.

I know what I’m most afraid of in relationships and see how my fears reflect my relationship with myself. I fear being judged and abandoned. By a partner, or anyone that means something to me. Those fears are amplified when I’m judging or abandoning myself. I mean emotional abandonment. When I don’t check in with myself. When I don’t feel my feelings, or listen to or honor them. When I spend excessive time engaging in numbing behaviors – drinking, binge watching TV, scrolling social media, etc. –  instead of engaging with myself through writing in my journal, practicing yoga or anything else that grounds me and helps me S L O W down. When I judge myself harshly for things, I have to remember my mistakes or my circumstances don’t make me bad or unworthy. I’m a work in progress. I can learn from where I mess up and have patience and compassion for myself. The more I take action towards fully loving and being there for me, I notice that my fear of others’ judgment or abandonment lessens. Because I belong to myself first and foremost.

(Don’t get me wrong, I still LOVE reality TV and other ways of escaping. It’s not all bad. I’m just majorly cutting back. Making it more of a treat, less of an escape.)

Are you more Cardinal, Fixed or Mutable?

There are three qualities to signs: cardinal, fixed and mutable. Below are brief descriptions and notes of what each can learn from each other. Some of us are combinations of all the different qualities and pretty balanced overall. Some of us, like me, are more heavily one type of quality. Even though I have Cancer and Libra in my chart, I’m so Virgo-heavy, with a lot of Neptunian influence. So I’m very mutable and working on balancing that out.

Cardinal Signs: Aries, Libra, Cancer, Capricorn

Cardinal signs mark the beginning of new seasons (Aries – Spring, Cancer – Summer, Libra – Fall, Capricorn – Winter). They are initiators. They have take-charge energy. Ideas and visions are always sparking in Cardinals and they put them into motion. They are expert planners, organizers, delegators, and show-runners. Natural leaders, they take charge of figuring out the bill, picking a food spot, organizing the office party.

If you are full of cardinal energy, it helps to take note from fixed and mutables. Like if you’re always starting new projects but never finishing them. Sometimes that’s totally ok, but there may be one project you would really benefit from seeing through to the end. Or if you’re so goal-oriented, there may be other parts of your life that you’re neglecting because they don’t fall directly in line with the goal you’re after. Learn to soften and slow down a little. Find pockets of your day or week where you consciously relax and just go with the flow and let others take the lead.

Fixed Signs: Taurus, Scorpio, Leo, Aquarius

Fixed signs are the most loyal, dependable, persevering people. They consistently show up, work hard, and do what needs to be done. They stick around and plow through until a job is done. They can be labeled as stubborn, but they’re not intentionally stubborn as a way to be difficult. They just like routine and doing what works. They appreciate a high-quality, well-oiled machine and they’re hesitant/skeptical of sudden changes or proposed shortcuts. Fixed signs are a steadying force.

If you’re carrying a lot of fixed energy, cardinals and mutables can give you a lesson in trying something new and outside your usual box. You have incredible staying power but sometimes change is so healthy and would work wonders in your life. Like leaving a relationship or job that has run its course. Also, stepping outside your routine or usual way of doing things every now and then can be so beneficial. As a fixed sign person, honor your timing and know that it can may you longer to take hold of new concepts/ideas/ways of doing life. It can be slow for you to make a change and that’s ok. Honor your pace. Because once you are locked in, you’re really locked in and such an inspirational, steadying rock for others.

Mutable Signs: Gemini, Sagittarius, Virgo, Pisces

No one can go with the flow like a mutable. They’re social and environmental chameleons, adapting their personality to whatever the circumstance calls for. Mutables are very empathic, open-minded, and curious. They love learning more than anything. It gets them buzzing to hear new ideas and ways of doing things. They love to travel, explore, roam free and escape.

My mutable-heavy people, it’s great that you’re adaptable but sometimes you’re so adaptable that it’s like… who are you? You need to be very mindful of your environment. The people and places you’re around the most can really affect your habits and mindset. One of the most powerful words you can learn to use is “no”. You don’t have to always be so flexible and agreeable. Check your values and hold your ground. Also, practice speaking up, initiating something, taking a leading role. Even, or especially, when it’s uncomfortable. Your fixed and cardinal friends can teach you so much about this, but ultimately you’ll see the best thing you can do is build your own solid sense of confidence and learn to look inward for answers.

If you’re confused because you have a lot of Libra in your chart but relate more to the Mutable or Fixed description, that’s typical. To really nail down your qualities, you have to see everything that’s going on in your chart. Which houses are most occupied, and what aspects are being made between planets? All of it matters and interplays. Let me know which quality you relate to most!

Yes, astrologers can scare you. But the good ones don’t

A common misconception about astrology is that it’s gloom and doom fortune-telling. People, including me, have had bad experiences with astrologers who irresponsibly read charts.

I got really into astrology when I was 22. I would be a little embarrassed to tell you the honest number of readings I’ve had over the course of my 20s. I’ll say.. at least 10. (But definitely more than 10 tbh. I was lost AF.) But hey, it was great research. I know what kind of session was empowering for me and why. And which ones left me feeling a little scared and sad about my life. And I gotta say, the people who scared me weren’t right about me or any made-up future events they tried to predict. If you’ve ever had a reading that left you feeling doomed, do not believe that shit. We have the ability to recognize our patterns or blocks and make positive changes in our lives. 

On the other side of doom and gloom, it’s not an astrologer’s job to sugarcoat, lie to you or make everything sound sparkly and perfect. Who would really believe that anyway? I think the key is their intention in a session with you. If they’re intentional about helping to empower you, they’ll be careful about their delivery and focus. One of the main things I focus on, which I wrote about here, is your North Node sign and house. Because that’s consistently been one of the most helpful things for people to hear. It gives them the licensing to be who they really are and do what they really love, despite the messages they may be getting from family, friends, or society. Or it opens their mind to a way of being that they’ve repressed or discounted, which might actually really serve them.

There are astrologers (like yours truly) who mainly use chart-reading as a tool for understanding themselves and others better. Our charts provide insight into our personalities, our childhood, our struggles, our imbalances, our wounds, even our generational trauma. I can’t look at someone’s chart and see concrete details and be 100% sure about them. I’m reading symbols and archetypes and interpreting them to the best of my ability, while also using my intuition. I’m very aware that my interpretations might be wrong, and honestly a little surprised when they’re spot on. But I’m not doing readings to try to guess at anyone’s life story and “prove” to them that astrology is real.

Our charts are up for interpretation. Two people can have a Venus-Neptune aspect and have it play out differently in their lives. Neptune influencing one’s Venus can have them putting on rose-colored glasses in relationships, idealizing partners and ignoring red flags. I can speak to that one. Same with Ariana Grande. She has this aspect and epitomizes it on her song ‘In My Head’. A decent astrologer will explain the possible interpretations of an aspect and ask you questions about how it’s specifically manifested in your life. They can look to other parts of your chart to get to the root of where/how in your early years this pattern might have been planted. The conversation evolves and the next thing you know, you have way more awareness about your relationship patterns and where they came from. Without awareness of a pattern, it’s hard to change it.

Where I’m At

me & my son

Did I ever envision myself living with my parents, substitute teaching and making a career pivot at 31 years old? Or prematurely adopting a dog in my last relationship and spending my savings on surgery for his back legs? Or accumulating a mountain of student loan debt? Have I made a lot of “mistakes” in many areas? Sure.

Do I love myself anyway? Absolutely. Not despite all of the above but exactly as I am today, with everything in my past that’s made me who I am. 

It’s a little scary to own where I’m at and risk judgment. By certain standards I’d be deemed a loser in our society. I struggle with that sometimes. Along with comparison and conventional timelines. 

I’m also extremely privileged. I’m a white, hetero, cis woman. I have parents that can support me in a rough patch. I’ve never lived in poverty. I’m healthy and non-disabled. I don’t experience the everyday weight of fear, oppression, and discrimination on the basis of my skin color. I’ve had so many incredible opportunities in my life with sports, education, travel and living abroad. Growing up in a white bubble, I was oblivious to the prevalence of white supremacy and its harmful effects all around me. I’m so privileged that I often forget my privilege and don’t realize my ignorance. 

I have so much room for growth but I’m also ok with who/where I am today. This is me, people. Take me or leave me. And book an astrology reading while you’re at it:)

Expectations and Attachments

Suttle Lake

Many moons ago, Ikea taught me an important lesson. The first time I went, I had a list of things I needed for my college apartment. I was with my parents and I wanted to be in and out as fast as possible. I had no idea how the layout worked or how insanely busy it can be. I think we were in there for a couple hours, but it felt like an entire day. I got most of what I needed, plus an extreme anxiety surge. Which I attributed to the amount of people and options inside. I formed a belief about Ikea – that I hated it.

A few years later, I found myself re-entering the Ikea-verse. Tagging along with a friend, this trip was unplanned. I needed nothing, had zero expectations or pressure. And I loved it in there. I felt like a little kid just marveling at everything they have and the way they organized the whole experience. It was still very crowded but that didn’t bother me at all. I was like damn, I don’t hate Ikea.

It wasn’t the place that I hated. It was the energy that I brought to the place. And this is true of pretty much all experiences in my life – travel, teaching, everyday life. When I reduce the importance of an experience, it takes the pressure off and I can enjoy it. I have to be mindful of my expectations going in, and if they’re high or very hopeful, I gotta readjust that. I tell myself, no matter what happens, I learn something, I experience something, and I grow. If I’m attached to a particular outcome, I tend to bring an energy of desperation or tension. Even if that energy is slight, it feels like I’m trying to force something. And whenever I’m forcing something, I’m not flowing with life.

Looking back on my years playing sports, my performance was always so dependent on my mental state. And nowhere was this more clear than with batting in softball. When I was hitting at my best and most consistent, I was going up to the plate with little to no pressure on myself. I wasn’t doing any serious thinking, and the at bat just flowed, almost like I floated through the experience. When I was not in my head, I was fully present. The game situation could be high-pressure, but if my mindset was essentially ‘either way I’m ok’, I did well. But whenever I got in a hitting slump, the amount of pressure I put on myself increased significantly. It became ‘if I don’t get a hit now, I’m screwed’. And guess how that went. Poorly. It usually wasn’t until my slump got so ridiculous to me that I didn’t give a shit if I got a hit or not, that I would get out of it.

When I’m not attached to things going a certain way or holding rigid expectations, I can relax. If I had to make a list of all the best experiences of my life, none of them were preceded with me trying to plan, force, or control a single thing about it. They were all unexpected and left me delighted, marveling at how things can come to be when I just go with the flow.

I think and talk about the present moment a lot, because it’s key. Being present allows me to just observe and experience the situation at hand, whatever it’s like. It takes me out of my head and into my body. Where I can let go of judgment and tension, and be the version of myself that’s not tightly wound. Easier said than done, but that’s what I’m practicing.

Me and Alcohol

I want to share a little update on my drinking. Last year I had a good six month hiatus from alcohol and posted about it. I got some unsolicited advice and guidance. So I want to start this off by saying while I do appreciate the care, I’m not looking for any advice whatsoever.

After those six months last year, I went back to drinking for about four months. And now I’m back to not drinking. Those six months without alcohol were illuminating. It was my first time abstaining from drinking since high school to be honest. In college my drinking was without a doubt problematic. I shudder looking back on some of those memories. I never let it affect my grades but it affected every other area of my life. I was unconsciously running away from a lot of things, and aptly fitting into a heavy binge drinking university culture.

After college and more recently, I wasn’t an everyday drinker or what you’d typically label as an alcoholic. I drank socially, mainly on the weekends, and I loved taking weekends off from it. I think people who know me don’t totally see why I feel I have a problem with it. But I can tell how addictive it is for me. Once I’m back in the pattern of drinking socially, it’s hard to say no to a beer. And once I have a beer it’s harder to say no to a second or third. Trying to moderate my drinking is mentally exhausting for me, and abstaining completely is freedom from that. It sounds a little corny but I feel it in my body, mind and spirit that alcohol is not great for me. Once I allowed myself to start drinking again, I slipped into old habits that don’t fit well with who I authentically am and what I value. It was very helpful, sort of experimentally, to not drink for six months and then go back to drinking for four months, not that I planned it that way. It allowed me to see a clear contrast and recognize what re-enters my life when I choose to go out and drink.

I feel more free, stable, and centered without alcohol. It feels like a relief to let it go. It’s so nice to not wake up hungover or super anxious. There are many benefits to not drinking and I feel lighter overall. The main thing I struggle with is fear about future events. Like vacations or weddings. Celebrations. Things that have been so alcohol-centered for me for years. I don’t fear the event itself without alcohol, but the social aspect of it. Also, I purposefully haven’t dated in awhile because I’ve been doing a lot of work on myself and haven’t felt ready. The thought of dating and experiencing all the firsts of a new relationship completely sober is definitely scary. But who is that not scary for, whether you’re used to drinking or not? When I really think about it, I shouldn’t need to be slightly numb or buzzed to handle social situations. It’s more just the cultural norm of it that feels daunting to step away from. And dating-wise, I think it will only help my level of clarity with feeling out a new relationship. In the past, drinking really helped me ignore some red flags.

All of the fears that come up around not drinking fall into the categories of Unknown, Future, Things That Are Not Happening Right Now. Which is something else I’m used to doing: tripping out about the future. Projecting fear onto it. Worrying, trying to control and plan all sorts of things that are not even happening, and may never happen. Whenever I recognize that I’m doing that, I take some deep breaths and try to re-ground myself into the present moment. Which feels like taking a huge load off.

I have a hard time with extremes and pronouncing a commitment to them. I used to be a hardcore vegan. Now I’m vegan like 80-90% of the time. And some people who were used to me being vegan would point it out if they saw me eat a piece of cheese. People have interesting reactions when you abstain from socially prevalent things, AND when you go back to them. Maybe because it makes them question themselves and that’s uncomfortable. I get it if someone’s annoyingly vegan and talks about it a lot and shames you for eating meat. I think for the most part, I haven’t been that person. Funnily enough, I think the only times I did act like that were when I was drunk.

So I know I feel better not drinking. Does that mean I’ll never drink again? It’s a question mark for me right now. Maybe in the future it’ll be more clear. But if and/or when I do have a drink, I know I’ll be a lot more conscious about it. Right now I can’t say I’m committed to never drinking again, and I think that’s ok. Maybe it’s just my way of knowing there’s an option, and having that door open helps me relax with my choice now. If I do drink in the future, I know it will be seldom and a real treat. And maybe I’ll have a beer and hate how it makes me feel. Who knows. It’s my thing to explore for myself.

North and South Node

The north and south nodes of the moon are the most karmic part of astrology. They are the opposing points in the moon’s orbit that intercept the ecliptic path. They’re always exactly opposite from each other in our birth charts. It’s important to know both the signs and houses that they’re in.

The south node represents energy we carry from our past life or our childhood, or both. Our south node sign is almost like a second sun sign. It’s a major part of our personality. The energy of our south node is familiar to us. We feel very comfortable and safe in it. It shows part of where we’re most gifted, and it also shows a deep longing or craving we may have.

Opposite from our south node, our north node sign and house is the energy we are meant to grow into and explore in this lifetime. It feels unfamiliar, unnatural and even scary to us, especially if we don’t have any other planets in its sign or house. When I describe friends’ north node placements, I hear them say things like “oof, that’s so hard for me” or “that’s my worst nightmare.” But the thing about the north node is that it does already live in us. We are gifted in its energy too. We’ve just learned to either repress it, avoid it, or not claim it in ourselves. For example, say your north node is in Leo and one of your parents displayed Leo energy in an unhealthy way, like acting super cocky or self-absorbed. You saw how people reacted to them and you didn’t want to act anything like them. This is how traits get repressed. We tend to overcorrect and throw out more than just the undesirable expression of the sign. But there are also wonderful expressions of Leo, like being a confident, courageous and warm-hearted leader.

When it comes to our north node, it really helps to be aware of it so we can give ourselves permission to own it more and more. We can use its sign and house as an overall compass direction for our growth, but also practice its expression in everyday situations. I talked about my Aries and Libra imbalance in another post. My north node is in Aries in the 10th house. I have to consciously practice acting more like an Aries. It doesn’t come easy for me. As an example, it can be hard for me to leave social situations when I want to. I wait for a good moment, based on the timing of conversations, when other people will be leaving, etc. I tend to measure it by others, instead of my own simple readiness to leave. And sometimes I’ll be sitting somewhere a good hour or more longer than I want to, and in my head I’m like umm why am I still here??? Aries energy is better at just doing what it wants, when it wants. So now when I want to leave and feel my normal hesitancy, I think “Court, you have an Aries north node… GO. LEAVE. BE FREE!” And it can feel a little scary to interrupt conversation to make an exit, but when I walk out I’m like HALLELUJAH!

The house matters too. With my north node in the 10th, my south node is in the opposite 4th. This gives an added layer to the interpretation. The 4th house is ruled by Cancer, and it’s the house of our home, our roots and our psychological foundation. It’s our private, inner world while the 10th is our outer world. The 10th house is ruled by Capricorn and it’s the house of our career, our professional lives, and how we are in public. So with my SN in the 4th, I’m very comfortable in Cancer energy. I’m a homebody, introverted type. I can spend consecutive entire days at home without seeing anyone, easily. And it doesn’t really scare me to dig into my psychology, emotions and background. I actually really love that stuff. But 10th house and Capricorn energy is intimidating for me. I have a lot more insecurity around everything to do with the 10th: how people see me, what I do for work, going after goals. I look at Capricorns like Michelle Obama and Kristin Cavallari (I know, interesting choice combo) and admire so much about them. For me, it feels so much safer to hide from the world, spend my days at home doing yoga, journaling, watching Netflix, doing whatever. I love a rich inner life and I feel at ease there. But I’m meant to develop my professional/public life. And I’d be totally playing small, out of fear and insecurity, if I never pursued the things I want professionally. Or if I never let myself be seen in that capacity. While someone with the opposite placement (NN in the 4th) might be very comfortable with 10th house matters but afraid to really dig into their inner psychology, feel their feelings and examine their roots.

It actually really helps to hang out with and observe the people in your life who have their sun, moon or other planets in your north node sign or house. You can learn a lot from them about the energy it would serve you to embody. I look to learn from the Aries in my life, the Capricorns, and the people who have 10th house energy.

I also mentioned the longing quality of our south node. Its house and sign represent something we really crave in this lifetime. For me, with a SN in Libra I have a deep longing for a partner, and in the 4th I crave a safe, happy home life. But we can’t quench the longing of our SN by staying in its familiarity. I have to step out of my comfort zone, own my Aries traits, and work towards my career desires despite all the fear. The NN is the key to fulfilling the desires of our SN. The more we step into our NN energy, our SN longing takes care of itself. And it’s filled in a way that’s healthy for us. Usually unexpectedly, or by means we wouldn’t have chosen from the limited lens of our south node.

We have to be aware of how our south node is keeping us small, and explicitly ‘practice’ our north node. We don’t need to let go of our south node, we just want to transform the less-than-healthy aspects of it, which are active precisely because we haven’t been exploring its opposite sign and house. I’m always going to love being a homebody, and reaching for the 10th house doesn’t mean I can never have those reclusive days. It just needs more balance. When we begin to take action from our north nodes, that balance works its magic and our south nodes automatically become healthier.

If we feel frustrated or stuck, the north node is the key to getting energy flowing in our lives. The more we learn to explore and embody the energy of our north node sign and house, the happier our spirit will be. Because stepping into our north node means we’re stretching and growing. Not staying stagnant and small. We feel better about ourselves because we’re not just doing the same old same and we can tell that we’re progressing, even if it’s in some quirky little ways that are only meaningful to us.